The Jane Duh Dilemma

It was just an innocent catching-up conversation between two relatives about their common kampung friends. A very innocent ‘did-you-know-that-so-and-so-is-married’ chat that turned out to be my wake-up call.


I now re-realize that I am back in this Malaysian society and very much belong to it. As much as I think I am ‘outside’… as I do think outside this proverbial box, I am deep in it. And so, although what I heard should not have bothered me, it surely has woken me up.


“Eh, si Mat tu dah kawin kan? Tapi tak ada jemput pun.”
“Sebab dia kawin dengan janda.”
“Laa… iye ke? Kenapa lah tak cari yang bujang.”
“Janda tu dengarnya tua daripada dia, anak dua ke tiga, entah.”
“Ishhh! Si Mat tu muda daripada kita. Baru start kerja.”
“Anak dara bersepah, nak jugak kawin dengan janda. Beranak pulak tu.”
“Cari lah yang sebaya. Kot nak janda pun, biar lah yang tak ada anak.”
“Ah kalau janda tu tak melayan, tak jadi jugak.”


I woke up right there and then, determined to find my people’s cultural definition of jodoh and bodoh.



Hair You!

We were on the way to school this morning feeling fresh and entertained by the Krappi Call on 95.8FM. The car was inching in towards the school gate for the grand drop-off…


Edrick: I think soon I’m gonna have moustache.

Kitreena: *looks at Edrick’s face* Ohhh yeah Edrick. But you are only eight.

Edrick: Oh kaka you should see my friend Haniff, he’s almost like an adult.

Mommy: Are you sure his name is Haniff, Edrick?

Edrick: Yeah. It is.

Mommy: Not Hairy?


Kitreena: Mom, my friends don’t have hair on their legs. But I have a lot.

Mommy: That’s just the way you are.

Kitreena: Yeah, but Cody doesn’t even have hair on her legs. Mine is so long.

Mommy: You are like Daddy. Don’t you remember how hairy Daddy is?

Edrick: But Kitreena doesn’t have chest hair Mom.

Kitreena: Edrickkkkk! Eeeeyewwwww!

Mommy: Yeah, but you can’t really choose, can you? Like Daddy, he has lotsa hair everywhere but…

Kitreena: Oh yeaahhhhh, but the head.

Mommy: So be thankful you have hair growing in the right places okay.

Kitreena: I ammmm, Mommm!



The Hairy Fairies...

The Hairy Fairies…

Mimpi Basah

Abang, lama ke Ida tertidur?

Tak sangat, dalam setengah jam aja. Kenapa sayang?

Ida rasa macam lamaaa sangat. Siap ada mimpi tau bang.

Sayang mimpi apa?

Entahlah, Ida pun tak faham. Tapi panjang betul mimpi nya.

Sayang nampak apa dalam mimpi tu? Abang ada enter frame tak?

Tak pulak. Mula-mula ada macam… uh, rumah terbiar.

Rumah kampung? Rumah bandar?

Rumah kampung rasanya. Macam pondok. Lepas tu ada kucing dua ekor.

Kucupan azimat...Kucing?

Ha’ah kucing. Satu kecik satu besar.

Belang tak?

Yang belang tu hidung Abang.

Abang dah agak dah sayang nak cakap cenggitu.

Lepas tu I saw my Mom. Lepas tu Ida cari Abang.

Rindu lah tu! Hehehe…

Mana ada!

Tapi lambat nya Abang enter frame mimpi sayang ni.

Ida tak nampak Abang kat mana. Menggagau-gagau tangan Ida cari Abang sebab dalam mimpi tu mata Ida pejam.

Ohhhhhhh! Tu ke sebabnya tangan sayang menggagau? Hahahahahaha!

Ida menggagau betul-betul ke bang? Eeee malunya!

Hahahaha! Ya sayang. Tangan sayang menggagau kat muka Abang. Abang gelakkan aja.

Abang niii! Tak baikkk!

Dah tu? Sayang tak berhenti menggagau. Abang cium dahi sayang, baru lah sayang bukak mata.

Oh my God! Ida ingatkan ada orang tepekkan kertas jampi kat dahi Ida!

Ishhh! Tak seram langsung mimpi hantu pocong cina sayang ni.

*raba dahi* Eeee basah!

It was just me and my little big man in the car. We were on our way to his dance training at Pak Ngah Studio but had to make a detour to pick up Kitreena who had a sleepover at a friend’s place.


Edrick was very quiet despite the fast beat on the radio. So I decided to make a ‘move’ and cheer him up. I vigorously shook and wiggled my upper body to the beat… crazily. So crazy and silly that my shoulders looked like they were going to lose my head. My elbows and my arms flapped so fast, I swear I could fly if they flapped any faster.


Edrick looked at me and gave his Mom that you-silly-mommy-what-are-you-doing look.


Mommy: Edrick, do you think I’m crazy?Mother and Child

Edrick: A little. *no hesitation!*

Mommy: Do you still love me?

Edrick: Yeah.

Mommy: You don’t have a choice, do ya?

Edrick: I guess not.


My crazy dance stopped and I laughed like a hyena. Edrick gave me a very honest answer so quickly as though he had had it playing in his mind every time I ‘go crazy’. An answer so honest that it made me proud!


Edrick smiled, took a deep breath and said his usual ‘I love you Mom’ in his I-love-you-anyway-Mom tone. He was almost in tears when Kitreena got in the car.


“Kaka, I missed you!”



A Bend Done

I've got your back, baby..

Kitreena had a two-hour consultation with a Spine/Scoliosis Specialist today. The evaluation has been done and her case has been sent by Dr. Robertson to another group of specialists in London for a second opinion.

Because of the 14-15 degrees curvature at the two points on Kitreena’s spine, the specialist here is suggesting the (soft, non-rigid) type of brace called Spinecor for her to wear for 20 hours per day, for 2 years. 

In the meantime, she is to continue with the therapy sessions twice a week and the chiropractic adjustments once a week. Her progress will be reviewed quarterly.

We will get her full prescription as early as Tuesday next week, August 26th (Daddy’s birthday). And if the brace is the way to go, Kitreena will start wearing Spinecor on August 29th.

And I… I embrace this with all my might.





Point of No Point

At some point in our life, we will all be battling something. Some of us will be battling it in the ward, some in court, and the rest of us… somewhere.


Some of us will be battling against cancer or thyroid. A few of us will be battling it in nasty divorce when the love is gone. And the rest of us will be battling in and against depression, the loss of our loved ones or just weight, or just loneliness. Just?


But the point is, at some point…
We will all be battling something in our life. Something. And at that point, we will all be tired of fighting and we will all be willing to just let go of so many things, including our will. Trust me. Winning will be a challenge and losing will look like an option.


It is at that point in our life when we tend to forget to sit ourselves down to ask, “What is the point?” We will be busy battling that something in our life, we forget what we are fighting for. At the end of it all whether we win or lose, time will have left us.


But for some reason, in the middle of writing this, somehow… all I want to do when the sun is up, is to go on a little boat on a lake somewhere with a little picnic basket, a blanket and a book.


Yeah… a boat, a basket, a blanket and a book.


So much for a battle.


Bila kah...




I’ve been to Point of No-Point, Vancouver Island.
It is one of the most beautiful places on earth.



It was only my second scoop of rice at lunch. Late lunch. And I had hiccups. And Kitreena thought it was cute. Here I was, feeling a little too old to be cute. But I actually did feel cute. My hiccups made Monchies laugh at lunch.


I blushed. And I got thinking. Maybe I should make a pie. A cutie pie.


I'm gonna make a pie with a heart in the middle...





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