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Nama Mana

Kalau saya tiba-tiba terasa seperti hendak menukar nama sebab sudah bosan dengan nama Enida ini… apa agaknya pendapat saudara-saudari sekalian? Adakah saudara-saudari akan terkejut? Seperti terkejutnya saya apabila seorang kawan menukar nama beliau dari Latifah kepada Nur Adlina, dan seorang lagi rakan, Raja Faisal kepada Rafael. Atau adakah saudara-saudari akan mencebik bibir kepada saya seraya berkata di dalam hati… “Pesseng dio doh!”

 

Sebenarnya, memang sejak azali lagi saya tidak berapa selesa dengan nama pertama saya yang berbunyi agak kejantanan. Pendek kata di zaman persekolahan dulu memang ada seorang rakan yang namanya sipi-sipi dengan nama saya. Saya Roslaimi, dia Roszaimi. Seorang Sarjan di Kor Perkidmatan Taiping yang bertugas dengan bapa saya pula bernama Roslaini. Mujurlah saya ada nama tengah ENIDA itu. Tidak perlu saya menyelak kain menunjukkan saya ini seorang perawan perempuan. (Dulu lah!)

 

Ramai juga yang bertanya kenapa saya sudah tidak lagi menggunakan nama komersil “Intan” seperti sewaktu di universiti, nama yang sinonim dengan personaliti La Femme De Jogette saya dulu. Itulah nama yang diberikan oleh bapa saudara saya dari Kelantan yang sebenarnya memanggil saya begitu semasa saya masih bayi kerana warna kulit saya yang agak ke-India-an seperti bapa saya. “Itei-itei si tapuk maaggeh, biyaa itei Pok Ngoh pandang maneh. Toksoh dok nangeh. Auung chak!”

 

Baby EnidaNama ‘Intan’ itu, selain tidak didaftarkan di dalam sijil kelahiran saya, sudah lama saya khaskan kepada keluarga dan sahabat-sahabat terdekat yang mengenali saya sejak zaman saya berhingus hijau muda dahulu. Dan jika saudara-saudari memanggil saya ‘Intan’, saya tetap menyahut dan tersenyum. Jika Sultan Perak yang memanggil, saya pastilah menjawab, “Ampun tuanku beribu-ribu lemon ampun. Sembah patik harap di ampun. Patik di sini, Tuanku.” Jika Pok Ngoh Soh yang memanggil ‘Itei’, cepat-cepat saya menjawab, “Yo Pok Ngoh, aghi gelaak itei pekaak ni tok napok ko?”

 

Walaubagaimanapun, jikalau saya bertukar nama dalam masa terdekat nanti, janganlah saudara-saudari sekalian terperanjat mendapat ‘Friend’s Request’ di Facebook, ya? Walaupun saya belum lagi membuat keputusan nama manakah yang terbaik untuk saya tukarkan kepada, nama pertama yang datang ke fikiran saya di senja nan merah dari kamar ini setelah lama termenung di jendela ialah… tidak lain, tidak bukan: Noorkumalasari.

 

 

 

Nota kaki:
Petang ni takdi Itei lalu dekak ghumoh Pok Ngoh. Memei gelaak ah dalaang ghumoh itei pekaak takdo oghei. Itei tingak ngak ko Pok Ngoh. Lamo do’oh doh tok dengaa Pok Ngoh laung ko namo Itei. Winduu ke Pok Ngoh owh.

 

Do It, Woman!

I just went to darat. Darat is the local term for our tiny towncenter (and that is if you call a place with a population of 500 people a ‘town’). I was there with Edrick to get him a haircut. And he got the best haircut I have ever seen in almost 4 years… all for RM4.00 (that is equivalent to CAD$1.20, Neil)!

 

Now, will I kick, scream, swear, spit and spank when it’s time to get Edrick’s next haircut in Moscow that I know will cost me RM120.00? I suppose the question is not will I, but should I?

 

Duit to me bebeh! Ahah ahah!

 

 

Glossary for Neil:
duit = money
pronounced as [do-it] in Bahasa Malaysia

 

Do It, Men!

To men out there who are man enough to read this, excuse my frankness. When it comes to money, there are two kinds you fall into. One: those who do have money and arrogantly flaunt it. Two: those who do not have money and shamelessly flaunt it. And both kinds are the pathetic kinds. The rest of you men… you don’t fall into any kind. And you are safe from my frankness – for now.

 

I mean, really! We all know that you can’t be having money all the time. When you do, and lots of it, that’s great. Good for you! But do you really have to unnecessarily show it, blogging about it, posting a scanned copy of receipts of your purchase as though the whole world has to know that your feet alone are wrapped in a pair of RM2557.65 worth shoes. Do you?

 

But man! That is still not as bad as announcing it to the world that you are broke. So broke that you could almost sell the Fung Keong canvas shoes your kindhearted Aunty Anne George bought you after your STP exam. And that is only so that you could buy a pack of GardeniaIn his back pocket! corn bun? Eeesssyyy walang hiya! That, I am so lah not sorry at all to say, patheticity at its worst! And then you’re complaining your girlfriend left you for a bloke who works at Burger King and drives a secondhand Citroen he paid RM14k for in cash!

 

Much of the pain is… indeed, self-chosen. But as painful as being broke can be, have some pride, will ya?

 

Still, a respectable man is not one who has the most or the least money. He is the one who respects his money and treats it like it is his secret lover. Go figure!

 

 

Retro Speck

Wajah kesayangan hamba? Kah kah kah!I don’t usually write about strangers.  In fact, this entry isn’t about a stranger. I would like to dedicate this post to Irwan, my newly accepted ‘friend’ on Facebook. No, I don’t know him yet. He did not introduce himself in his Friend’s Request to me. And from this profile picture of himself, I swear I have never had a friend this retro. I pray to God hope this is just his ‘Untuk Hiasan Sahaja‘ kind of photo.

 

I don’t, let me assure you, usually accept any Friend’s Request from someone who does not have any mutual friend with me. I even wrote a note to a few people, asking if I had met them before, or if we had been introduced to each other before. True to the meaning of a friend, a stranger remains a stranger, ya know.

 

But in this case, because Irwan is a friend of a very very good friend of mine… I thought, Irwan would not and should not turn out to be DJ Dave or any Hi-One I would not really want to know. I also figured out using my own logic, that for Irwan to put such a hideous mysterious photo on his Facebook profile, he must be one of the two: i. He is extremely good-looking, ii. He is extremely mysterious. And both are good. Hehehehehe. You are free to interpret my “Hehehehehe” in your own way. No mystery here.

 

Uh, did you know that DJ Dave’s other name is Irwan Shah?

 

 

Répondez S’il Vous Plaît

Thank you ever so much to all dear  families and friends for the Répondez S’il Vous Plaît (RSVP) to my Potluck Project tomorrow. Obviously there will not be any frodos, foie gras or foes attending. Fans? Muahahaha who am I kidding? Sejak bila lah pulak ada orang nak jadik my kipas.

 

Those who are not able to come due to pre-planned activities, residing 1622km away from Kuala Lumpur, across the Tebrau Straits, Melaka Straits and New Straits Times and also 4100 meters above the sea level, or those who have lent their GPS or Navi Map to someone and cannot find Jalan Duta, and those who just cannot make it because they are on diet and food is the last thing on their mind… uh, no worries. I am organizing another Potluck Project on June 26th, 2010 at the same venue. Coming meh?

:)

 

Nice potluck photo is from Juliatyz. Many thanks Juliaty.

 

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