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Tulis lah…

Selamat Hari Bapa, Guruku...

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This Is All You

Ocean deep...

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I have suspicions
that this is all you.

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And just as you are,
striking to the core of the heart
with merciless sweetness.

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I can no longer fault
the legions of men
who have been brought
to their knees by you.
With a voice such as this
yet harrowing haunting words,
you both sail ships
as well as sink them.

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Thank you for this.
It is beautiful.
I am ever captive.

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*This Is All You

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Ketika Duka

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Tahajjud Cinta

Kau datang ketika duka
Dan bintang bercahaya
Tunjukku ke jalan syurga

Ku haus di tengah laut
Lemas mencari tempat berpaut
Kirimkan aku kekuatan
Peta pedoman di kesesatan

Ku sunyi dalam gembira
Perit pedih tanggung derita
Sungguh aku bukan wali
Yang suci dari hina dan benci

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Sprint Chicken

I would like to think that Kitreena is actually a long-distance runner like her Mom, not a sprinter that she would like to believe she is. And on Wednesday when she finished last in the sports practice at the stadium, I expected to pick up a sourpuss at school.

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“I finished last for the 1000 meter run, Mom.”
“But you finished. That’s all that matters.”
“Yeah, but I thought I was fast enough to not finish last.”
“Maybe all you need is more practice and a bit of energy booster.”
“My Shamrock teacher didn’t even look at me because I finished last, Mom.”

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There was a smile on her face and a little giggle when I thought she would be in tears. I was amazed at how un-sour her attitude was even though she said she was embarrassed beyond repair.

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“Ah well, I’ll practise more after this. But Mom… I think I need a pair of Nike runners like Edrick’s.”

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Now, that struck so fast from a non-sprinter, I. Did. Not. See. It. Coming.

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Cukupan Azimat

Cukuplah dulu.
Kalau nak difikir tentang apa yang saya tak ada, uiii… banyak. Tapi bila difikir tentang apa yang saya dah ada, uiii… lagi banyak! Sebab itu tak sanggup nak merungut banyak-banyak sangat. Takut nanti kalau Tuhan tarik balik kesenangan, walaupun satu, akan terasa susahnya. Ibaratnya kalau Tuhan tarik keupayaan saya melihat, walaupun hanya sebelah mata… menangis bertahun juga saya rasa. Insaf.

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Rumah… cukuplah dulu dengan apa yang ada. Bukan setakat ada, malah barangkali lebih baik daripada kebanyakan orang lain. Ada, mesra, selesa dan tiada bebanan hutang. Cukuplah dulu walaupun bila terdesak bukan boleh saya jual pun pintu atau daun tingkapnya di Ca$h ¢onverter. Dan bila ada masanya saya ralat dengan mutu binaan Mesra, saya redha di sini lah tempat saya dan anak-anak membina kenangan. Jauh dari bergelandangan. Syukur.

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Kereta… cukuplah dulu dengan apa yang ada. Elok sifatnya, malah molek sikapnya. Tak banyak ragam walaupun banyak parutnya. Cukuplah dulu saya lenjan dan belasah yang itu buat mencari rezeki dan menghantar menjemput anak-anak ke sekolah, berteduh di jalan dari panas dan hujan. Malah anak-anak ada hati nak mengajak saya menjelajah ke Ulaanbaatar dengan hanya memandu ke sana. Sama gila anak-anak dengan Mommy nya. Tapi, itulah, syukur saya berkereta.

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Saya… cukuplah dulu dengan apa yang ada. Pada diri. Walaupun masih banyak ilmu dan keredhaan yang saya cari, untunglah saya masih ada waktu, hidup dan bernafas hari ini. Nikmat yang Tuhan beri untuk saya; sihat, kuat, cergas walaupun saya mengaku ada masanya malas… saya bercukup-cukupan dengan apa yang ada. (Bukan berkucup-kucupan, okay.)

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Cukuplah dulu.
Saya nak pergi meng-Google gambar-gambar Ulaanbaatar dan berangan-angan sejauh 6792.4km…

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Ulaanbaatar: The Genghis Khan Statue

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Go Bag To Basic

Go Bag 1

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This is my handbag. Manja name or code name: GO-BAG. And this is one of the main reasons why I left the Wanita Niaga Group on Facebook someone added me to. I do not use a proper handbag. I have not been using a normal handbag like many other normal women do, for many years now. Yes, I am not normal and I am far from proper. And I don’t care if I am neither normal nor proper. So when many posts on Wanita Niaga Group were of handbags, I got turned off. Not interested.

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Go Bag 2

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This RM145.00 Go-Bag I bought from a craft boutique at Plaza Mont Kiara has served me well for almost 3 years now. The Japanese lady owner of Bulan Craft Boutique told me that this is a product of Cambodia or Vietnam – I can’t remember. Or maybe it is from Myanmar or Thailand, or whatever, really. I don’t care about that either. Just like I don’t care about Coach or LV handbags because not only that those handbags are not my priority… but because they don’t have this kind of practicality.

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You see, I have very little time and a very long to-do list on a daily basis. Looking for something in an expensive handbag does not save any more of my time. So I keep it simple. And I keep it inexpensive. In along with keeping it organized. I actually like the idea of Handy Manny’s tool box. But other than that, I must mention the attention I get ‘wearing’ this Go-Bag wherever I go. I get questions and statements like…

  • “Oh, that is so cute! Is that your handbag?”
  • “Is that a hamster box?”
  • “Is there a snake in there?”
  • “Is that like a tool box or something?”
  • “That’s a great idea. It suits all occasions.”
  • “Eh mana you beli ni? Bagus lah. Senang nak cari barang.”

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But more often than not, I get the ‘eh-ya-lah-bagus-juga-bag-macam-tu’ look of surprise and admiration. So why would I care about LV or Coach bags that can hang on some people’s credit card until 2025 lah kan. JPO or non.

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Keep Bleeding, Love

  

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Luka di jari nampak berdarah, luka di hati siapa yang tahu?

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[Luka di hati kadang-kadang sendiri pun tak tahu.]

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The Sungai Sedim Tree Top Walk is a much longer story. This one is short, so it gets told first.

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The thought that I had when I realized I was bleeding from the cut (it was just from opening a Red Bull can) was… sometimes it takes time to realize we are hurting. We don’t always feel it right away. And I can’t say I was in denial, for only when there was blood all over my steering wheel that I knew what I did actually cut me.

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There were bandaids in the car, but I didn’t really feel like putting one on. I just moved along and moved on.

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I drove southbound from Kulim through Selama and its scenic palm plantations, watching cattle and rainbows along the way and set my heart with the sun in Taiping that day.

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As soon as I got there, I felt all right. Taiping embraced my heart.

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