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Traveling always reminds us of our family trips pre July 2010. When we checked in to Santa Grand East Coast last Thursday, Edrick saw a family at the lobby and as he was waiting patiently, I noticed he was staring at the ‘dad’ of that family.

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In the room, after we settled in, I asked Edrick…

Mommy: Hey Monch, do you miss Daddy?
Edrick: *smiles at me and shrugs his shoulders*
Mommy: It’s okay if you miss Daddy, you know. I miss him too, sometimes.
Edrick: But it is all his fault. He doesn’t wanna be with us.
Mommy: Hey, it’s not his fault, sweetheart. It’s nobody’s fault.
Edrick: I know. I’m sorry.
Mommy: Things happened the way they had to happen.
Edrick: What do you mean?
Mommy: I left, and took you with me so he could be happier and I could be stronger.
Edrick: Mom, if anybody asks me how my Mom is… I’m gonna say she’s amazing!
Mommy: Oh, thank you! Amazing eh? *my heart melts or swells, I could not tell*
Edrick: Yeah! Because she can drive through 5 states and 2 countries in 3 hours!
Mommy: Oh wow me! That’s scary! Hahahahaha!

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My heart swelled and salt-water welled in my eyes. I would travel the world for a love like this. And what Edrick said made me think of a line from a song

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I believe in angels
something good in everything I see.
I believe in angels
when I know the time is right for me…

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So he could be happier and I, stronger...

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Mahal Mary

After a good night sleep at The Beverly, we were ready to hit the road again for the fourth house and final visit with my dad’s old friend. On the way down from the third floor, Monchies and I shared the elevator with a couple and their toddler. I wasn’t so much in my friendly mode, but I wasn’t grumpy or anything. I was just quiet. So were Monchies.

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We could hear the couple’s conversation loud and clear…

Wife: Kita tak bagi dia tips sepuluh ringgit lah bang. Dia okay jugak kan?
Hubby: Ha’ah. Tapi dia tu Filipino. Bukan orang sini tu. Filipino tu.
Wife: Oh ye ke.
Hubby: Nama dia Mary ke apa ntah.
Wife: Ohhh nasib baik tak bagi.

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As I was checking out after the couple left, down came Mary with her cheerful smile making some jokes in Mandarin with the cleaning staff and reporting a few things to the Bangladeshi receptionist in Bahasa Malaysia. Mary sure looked a bit different from a typical Malaysian Chinese. Regardless, she was very bubbly and warm.

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It was just too bad that Mary looked like a Filipino.

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And she did not get a ten-ringgit tips because she was supposed to look like a Malaysian? I felt sick to my stomach! Not only from the couple’s body odour that I had to endure in the elevator. But from their prejudice towards others judging only from their look! If I were to judge based on the couple’s smell, they were as good as rubbish.

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If.

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This is going to be a quick one. I just have to write this down before I forget. Oh, I forget a lot of things these days. I even forget who I am, sometimes.

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And this morning when Kitreena was telling me again about the cheerleading team and how nasty of a quote sent to her by the girl she is co-captaining the team with… I just could not help but mentioning the poster that was shared with me yesterday.

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Prettifying....

Kitreena and Edrick heard it and both went, “Oh my God! Mommm” and they could not stop giggling. Edrick giggled even longer. I knew he was imagining something else.

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Edrick: Can you imagine all the make-up she would have to eat.

Mommy: It is gonna be a paint factory in there.

Edrick: Mom, what if the make-up went all mixed up in her tummy?

Mommy: Hahaha! Yeah, it would definitely be all smudgy inside.

Edrick: That is not gonna be pretty, Mom! Hahahaha.

Kitreena: Edrick! Hahahaa.

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Monchies kept on giggling as they got off the car. And as I glanced at my Go-Bag that carries the Maybelline facial powder and a lipstick, I drove away all smiley this morning. Despite all the wonderful people who should just eat their make-up and try to be pretty on the inside… my life is pretty good, I must say.

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Postlude:
Pardon me about the B word. I don’t use it on anyone, nor do I condone its use by my kids. But sometimes, the B word does make a deep impact. And of course, I love dogs. They bark.

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U-Pimpin & I-Pimpin

Orang kita ni banyak sangat bercakap pasal pemimpin sebab itu yang disogokkan media. Kalau hal Najib ni terjadi zaman ayah beliau, kita kena tunggu suratkhabar esok baru tau kisah. Mana ada Facebook, Twitter dan suratkhabar online. Sekarang ni, belum lagi jadi apa-apa, satu dunia dah kecoh. Kita pun sudahnya jadi media, sebab wall kita lah yang paling banyak sekali liputan pasal Najib dan Tun M. Macam lah orang nak baca sangat pun. Orang kita mana rajin membaca?

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Apa kata kita pimpin diri kita dulu. Najib nak kata dia darah pahlawan ke, dia nak sembunyi di Gua Niah ke, kita tengokkan saja. Kita bawa diri kita ke arah kebaikan. Kadang-kadang kebaikan itu datang dalam bentuk yang sangat mudah. That is… saying nothing. Tun nak sokong ke, tak nak sokong ke, nak berucap ke, nak mengucap ke, kita tengokkan saja. Kita bawa diri kita ke arah apa yang baik untuk KITA saja dulu.

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Bila pemimpin dan bekas pemimpin sibuk bercakap, kita dengar kan saja. Tak perlu kita pun bercakap sama. Sampai waktu kita sendiri jadi pemimpin nanti… baru kita tau. Masa tu nanti kita buatlah keputusan sama ada nak bercakap ke, nak menyorok ke, nak mengkritik ke. Sehingga itu, kita tengokkan saja. Kita bawa diri kita ke arah kebaikan yang kita tahu. Untuk KITA.

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Cakap banyak pun tak guna. Orang yang sibuk memimpin ke arah kebaikan tak ada masa nak bercakap banyak sepatutnya. With power comes great responsibility. Kita dok bercakap, letak post pongpang-pongpang, chong sana chong sini… mana power nya?

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Baik tunjuk ‘power’ tolong bini kat dapur tumbuk sambal untuk makan tengahari dengan anak-anak sementara cuti umum dan cuti sekolah ni. KITA lah pemimpin mereka. Cakap lebih-lebih, Power Rangers pun dah penat gelakkan kita.

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Tulis lah…

Selamat Hari Bapa, Guruku...

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This Is All You

Ocean deep...

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I have suspicions
that this is all you.

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And just as you are,
striking to the core of the heart
with merciless sweetness.

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I can no longer fault
the legions of men
who have been brought
to their knees by you.
With a voice such as this
yet harrowing haunting words,
you both sail ships
as well as sink them.

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Thank you for this.
It is beautiful.
I am ever captive.

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*This Is All You

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Ketika Duka

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Tahajjud Cinta

Kau datang ketika duka
Dan bintang bercahaya
Tunjukku ke jalan syurga

Ku haus di tengah laut
Lemas mencari tempat berpaut
Kirimkan aku kekuatan
Peta pedoman di kesesatan

Ku sunyi dalam gembira
Perit pedih tanggung derita
Sungguh aku bukan wali
Yang suci dari hina dan benci

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